I’m a coffee addict.
No doubt about it. Hence the name of my blog.
I’m currently on my coffee detox. I guess it can’t be called a “detox” since
I’m limiting myself to one a day. When
it comes to me saying one a day, I mean one container. The size of the
container can range from a medium to a large. Grande or venti in Starbucks
terminology. But, still. It’s one. Right?
Why am I on this coffee detox? Well, I decided to give up coffee for lent, and
if I don’t start limiting myself to one a day I’ll have withdrawals and die for
sure.
Maybe not die, but it will definitely be a struggle.
The reason I’m telling you about giving up my delicious, precious coffee is
because I want to explain why.
When I’m tired, the only thing that I believe can energize me is coffee, which
is in fact true because of the caffeine. But there are other ways in which I
can release some of my “tiredness.” Some of it comes from all the classes and
labs I’m taking and all the studying I have aside of that, which I don’t mind
since I enjoy what I am studying. But at
the same time, I’ve noticed that most of my tiredness doesn’t come from all the
classes or studying that I’m doing (I have my schedule pretty organized) but
from the stress that I put on myself with the question, “What if I don’t get
into OT school after all this studying?” Then there’s the whole, “There’s so
much money going into my education that I don’t want to put it to waste” And we
might as well add in, “If I can’t do this, then what else can I do?” These
questions are constantly running through my head, which stresses me out. And
it’s with all that stress this tiredness takes over. Then, unconsciously, I’m
swiping my card to get some coffee.
All this might sound just absolutely insane, but it’s true. So, for lent I’m
giving my coffee up. It isn’t to torture myself so that when I have a huge exam,
I can’t stay awake. It’s not anything
like that. No, the reason I’m giving it up is to be able to trust in God fully.
I don’t need to stress out about how, what, when, and how any of my life will
play out. All I need to focus on is the present.
At this moment, I’m diagnosing myself with “No, I got this God” disorder. This
might sounds kind of ridiculous but it’s so true. Which has me going crazy
since I alone can’t handle it and all this stress is getting to me. Slowly, but
surely.
I’m not just posting this blog to just spill something personal out there but
it’s to challenge you. Find what you’ve been using as a crutch instead of
leaning on God. Anytime you’re stressing, anytime something is preventing you
from just enjoying life, anytime you are running towards your crutch, take a
moment and lean on God.
Why God?
Well, God alone is enough. God is the ultimate happiness. When one realizes
that even when you have everything one could possibly want but not a
relationship with God, then everything just seems so useless. But, when you
have nothing but just God, then you have the greatest gift in the world. God
knows who we are and loves us with more love than we can comprehend. Just by letting him take the lead, He will
lead us in the most beautiful dance through our life on earth to our life in
heaven.
So, what’s your coffee?
My coffee is books.
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